If ChatGPT were asked to conjure a successful Italian restaurant, its criteria would probably describe Bethesda’s Piccoli Piatti Pizzeria. This upscale-casual eatery checks all the boxes:
- Location, location, location — lease in upscale neighborhoods with plenty of parking. Both Piccoli locations sit in the toniest parts of Bethesda, each in an upscale strip mall with ample parking and no competition. The Wildwood strip mall location, where DishingPizza dined, is bookended by a Balducci’s and a Flower Child.1 The per capita incomes for the Piccoli locations in zip codes 20814 and 20816 are $107,000 and $118,000, respectively.
- Price point – make it expensive enough to be crazy profitable but affordable enough to attract crowds. Piccoli serves salads, pizzas, pastas, and sandwiches. Except for a few small plates, most menu items are priced between $15 and $20. While it may seem elitist, a family of four can eat here for under $100, making it an everyday spot instead of a splurge in these zip codes.
- Pizza – Buy a pretty Marra Forni commercial brick oven to make high-profit-margin, wood-fired pizza. Pay extra to have Piccoli Piatta tiled and prominently displayed on the outside of the oven.
At Piccoli, customers order at the counter, are issued an order flag, and wait for their food to be brought to their table. Each table has an earthenware container holding heavy cutlery. When the server delivers food to the table, they also bring Italian ceramic plates, a classy touch. Incongruously, each table has a dispenser holding chintzy, thin paper napkins. C’mon, Piccoli Piatti, it’s effrontery to expect Bethesdans to tolerate anything but linen napkins.
Naturally, the Piccoli website sings the praises of its Neapolitan pizza, stating, “Our dough undergoes a 3+ day fermentation which gives it depth of flavor and texture. We use only the highest quality ingredients to make our pizzas – imported Italian flour and tomatoes, organic produce, and outstanding domestic cheeses.”
Given all this hype, why’s the Piccoli pizza so meh? DishingPizza doesn’t know.2 The crust is perfectly baked — pillowy on the outer edges and free of the sogginess that afflicts many wood-fired pizzas. At the same time, the crust lacks a distinctive flavor or tang despite its 3+ day fermentation. Similarly, the cheese and tomato sauce are high-quality but unremarkable. The pizza is fine, but entirely run-of-the-mill.
Unsurprisingly for a restaurant that hews so closely to a perfect success formula, business is brisk, even at an off hour on an off night. DishingPizza was fortunate to snag a table on the small, pleasant, covered outside patio — while it may overlook the parking lot, the patio provides Bethesdans a measure of comfort, seeing that no one is jacking their Benz.
1 Flower Child is a similarly priced, hippie-dippie, healthy-diet version of Piccoli Piatti.
2 DishingPizza suspects that olive oil is a pizza’s unsung hero, separating the stellar from the mediocre. No one ever talks about their olive oil, but the good stuff could be the most expensive ingredient on a pizza.
Piccoli Piatti Pizzeria
10257 Old Georgetown Rd, Bethesda, MD 20814
5306 Zenith Overlook, Bethesda, MD 20816
Style: Wood-fired
Pizza quality: 🍕🍕
Overall experience: ⭐⭐⭐
Pie (12″): $14
Pie price per square inch: $0.12